Many American businesses, wholly owned and operated by communist knot-heads, could benefit from many helpful lessons, including how to write succinct job advertisements. For that, I offer this splendid piece of free consulting.
Free Consulting: How to Make Job Ad DEI Disclaimers Shorter
Instead, of this obnoxious, verbose, and tedious “DEI” paragraph . . .
{Typical Commie American Business} is committed to creating a diverse and inclusive environment, and is proud to be an equal opportunity/affirmative action employer, encouraging applications from people of all backgrounds. All qualified applicants will receive consideration for employment without regard to race, color, religion, gender, gender identity or expression, genetic information, national origin, age, disability, sexual orientation, marital status, veteran status, or any other category protected under federal, state or local law.
Why not just say . . .
“Fags Only!”
Isn’t that much more succinct? I know most of you copy and paste that stupid nonsense from other ads, which is easy, but this version condenses it into two words, making your hiring intentions much clearer.
More to the point, if your business requires personnel who indulge in anal sodomy in their spare time, why not just be loud and proud, and shout it from the rooftops? This seems to be what’s most essential to your organizational mission. Don’t be shy about things.
Want More Consulting ???
If you enjoyed this, and wish to launch your jolly little business into the American communist-economic stratosphere, then I’d be MORE than happy to offer further consulting. This would be one-on-one, tailored to your firm, and customized to fit your organization’s specific bottlenecks and shortcomings (of which there are sure to be many).
It costs $200 per hour (cash only; no techy digital transaction tools allowed). You would need to drive to my headquarters and hand it to me. As you do so, you will use my preferred pronouns of “Your Imperial Highness” or “Your Utmost Supreme Reverend.” Failure to address me properly incurs a 15% surcharge to the consulting fee.
My consulting will transform your business, especially if your current arrangement reaks of social-justice, DEI homo-eroticism, and other endemic weaknesses. I’ll fix your problems, post haste. This includes common workplace maladies such as . . .
- Substance Addiction (I can un-addict your male employees from those feminizing Estradiol pills they continuously ingest).
- Business Branding (For starters, let’s get all the foolish rainbow colors off your logo and company website. We also won’t use light-skinned black chicks for EVERY promotional image).
- Profitability (Instead of going broke, after becoming woke, as the expression goes).
- Exiting the Highway to Hell (My consulting firm specializing in the value of praying the Holy Rosary every single day; thereby diverting your team of wiccans and perverts from inevitable damnation).
So, thanks, have a nice day, and cease trying to make your American business resemble a non-stop rendition of the Opening Ceremony of the Paris Olympic Games.
Catholics Aren't Zombies! 