Are You a QAnon-Prevost-Catholic?

“Trust the plan, traddies. In Prevost, we trust.”
-Anonymous Trad Commentator(s)

Catholics aren’t zombies, but perhaps more than a few shaky traditionalists will transform into them by following the 2025 version of QAnon. 

Naturally, I assume this does not apply to my readership, but we must fortify ourselves against falling for yet another Antichurch trick. They’ve been on quite the diabolical role lately. Robert Prevost may present more thinly veiled villainy than the “Oily” Father, Bergoglio, but he might cajole many wavering traditionalists who employ the “sit and stare wait and see,” strategy. Any moment now, I expect this position to resemble a sort of “QAnon” conspiracy for gullible Prevostians.

Perhaps QAnon-Prevost-Catholics endorse a theory such as the following:

“Give him some time. Give him time, man. So, he might even have to drag some Peruvian idols or a couple Pacha-tacos into the Vatican again, but it’s all part of the plan. Just wait and see!”

It may also rise to even loftier heights of “popesplaining” theatrics. 

“Don’t worry that the Pope has just appointed even more notorious pro-death champions to high office. He’s still the super-secret-savior pontiff, who, guided by the Holy Ghost (because of a “grace of office” he doesn’t have), will stealth-reform the Church back to glory. Trust the papal plan . . .” 

Next, Prevost will officially dispense with the title, “Vicar of Christ,” in favor of the more agreeable term, Bishop of Rome, like his antipapal predecessor. This might bring us to a point where false traditionalists may as well switch from “Catholic” to “Bishop of Roman” to suit the desperation of their delusional position. They might even be overjoyed to indulge their ridiculous fever-dream fantasy of a true Roman bishop for true Romans.

It’s one thing to survey everything carefully and develop an understanding without “jumping to conclusions.” It’s quite another, altogether, to self-lobotomize, and ignore an expanding body of damning evidence, thereby confusing the Prevost regime for reliable Catholic magisterium. This cognitive dissonance will be déjà vu again for folks who neither learned from the Bergoglian ideal, nor recognize the continuity of evil in the more sophisticated Prevostian regime.

What are QAnon-Prevost-Catholics?

First, what was QAnon? For those who have forgotten, let us swiftly review this cultish, mind-control operation from recent years past.

QAnon was a conspiracy theory (and, yes, there are good and bad ones) that held the position that the world was controlled by a satanic/pedophilic cohort. Although I sympathize with that view in many ways, its prescriptions for a remedy emanate from the lunatic fringe.

QAnon was a right-wing-oriented movement, which convinced its believers that Donald Trump and company would administer punishment to the pedophile satanists and restore order. All we needed to do was patiently await the unfurling of the plan.

Of course, the obvious impediment to all that was the interference of Joe Biden’s inauguration, who would represent a resurgence for the globalists. However, according to QAnon, this too, was all part of the plan. No matter how bizarre, far-fetched, and counterintuitive anything becomes, we must always regress ourselves to the infallible plan.

While QAnon doesn’t have as many adherents as it once possessed, it still enjoys a volume of followers who believe Trump’s current administration is finally fulfilling the plan.

However, to make a long story short, everything is “part of the plan” when you compose your narrative, and constantly revise it, ex post facto. Every time the QAnon ideas have faced refutation by obvious external reality, the narrative simply adjusts itself to fit the circumstances.

Finally, others have acknowledged that the QAnon conspiracy theory was almost certainly orchestrated by the CIA to agitate impressionable conservatives, with lower IQs, and scant training in formal logic. That leads me to wonder: are there any parallels between QAnon and the arrival of Robert Prevost? Did the Vatican Deep Antichurch create a false-flag-savior regime, just like the CIA, in the likeness of QAnon?

Keeping that in mind, what exactly are QAnon-Prevost-Catholics?

They are those who believe Prevost must be a 5D-chess-playing pope, who is “submarine infiltrating” the modernists to subvert, thwart, and remove them from power. The QAnon-Prevost-Catholics know (or blindly trust) “the plan’s inner workings,” which will catch the Vatican’s sodomite prelates totally off guard. According to QAnon-Prevost-Catholics, the evil sodomites think he’s one of them, but they’re really in for a BIG surprise.

“Just wait and see! Prevost is going to borrow Trump’s idea and sick DOGE on the Vatican Bank and other institutions. If you don’t believe this, then you doubt the power of the Holy Spirit and the grace of the Chair of Peter.”

Well, that’s an intriguing theory . . . which sounds as if it came from drunk college sophomores.

Prevost is beating them at their own game (in secret) and turning the tables on the old St. Gallen mafia, allegedly. Again, just trust the plan.

This might remind us of the bizarre 5D Chess theory, developed by Andrea Cionici, regarding Pope Benedict’s resignation and eventual re-emergence (which never happened). These elaborate, Wile-E-Coyote, Super Genius theories are all the rage among folks who cannot assess a situation, process evidence, and consider the most likely and succinct interpretations.

Everything always has to involve the least probable explanation.

Oh, and make sure you “shut up and pray” that others trust the plan as well. Nobody should think about doing anything productive beyond awaiting the execution of the plan. Otherwise, you must hate the pope, and that’s bad.

Differential Diagnosis for QAnon Catholics?

Then we have a new and related psychiatric disorder: “Francis PTSD,” where its sufferers claim they cling to this “new pope” (or any pope) after sustaining substantial Bergoglio-driven trauma. They claim to have sustained a moral injury. Perhaps, we might employ some alternative terminology: Post-Traumatic-Francis-Disorder (PTFD).

Are you, my friend, PTFD off about the state of the Vatican? 

I could almost empathize with this disorder. That is, except for those who experience this malady seem to lack all semblance of humility or remorse for relaying misinformation (popesplaining) to their followers for several years. Many false trads fit into this category. 

If it is necessary for me to prove this, then recall the massive Trad-Inc campaign to censor or eliminate any discussion of the obvious Bergoglian fraud. I can’t feel sorry for grifters who distort the truth because it might cost them their professional-Catholic livelihoods.

Moreover, why should we trust “trad experts” who tell us they struggle with this ecclesiastical mental illness? Aren’t the assessments of mentally ill individuals at least somewhat suspect and unreliable?

It reminds of how many so-called mental health professionals possess mental illness themselves. Lo, if only it was the blind leading the blind. Just the other day, I saw someone post on some message board: “I was diagnosed with BPD years ago. I’m now a mental health professional . . .”

God help your patients.

I suppose that tells all we must know about today’s experts. If you, dear reader, struggle with expert worship, as many do, then remind yourself of how bonkers these folks truly are (and avoid them as you would any other madmen). Our experts and thought(less) leaders only ever confuse people, leading them into ever deeper caverns of mental-spiritual despair.

I challenge you to subvert the “new normal” of expert-olatry. After all, normal is the new awful.

. . . what it’s like when all your relatives trusted the stupid plan except you.

Conclusion

I suggest all Catholics trust a different plan, one originating from Holy Scripture.

“Dearly beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits if they be of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.” –1 John 4:1

Pray for guidance from the Holy Ghost and avoid the same pope-splainers who took forever to recognize the obvious menace of Jorge Bergoglio (if they ever did at all). Pray the Rosary every day (all 15 decades), beseeching God for humility, magnanimity, and patience. 

You will need all three if you wish to survive the inevitable spiritual gauntlet ahead. Trust the true plan, the Triumph of Jesus and Mary, foretold infallibly in Holy Scripture, and far more believable than any 5D-chess, submarine-trad, last-second-switcheroo Leo XIV pontificate.

Comment below if you’d like to contribute to this discussion (even if you think it’s acceptable to be a QAnon-Prevost-Catholic).