I’m Running For Pope!

Yes, in the next Papal Conclave, upon the death/retirement of Pope Francis, I’m running for pope!

Yes, I am completely qualified.

If elected by the College of Cardinals, I promise . . .
. . . to undo the Papacy of Francis.

Gone are: Traditionis Custodes, Amoris Laetitia, Pachemama, and all of the ugly decor in the Vatican.

I will fire basically everyone, all incoming seminarians will be required to go to boot camp and profess the Oath Against Modernism, nobody in the hierarchy will be allowed to be gay, I’m bringing back the Papal Tiara, I’m bringing back capital punishment (especially burning at the stake), all Jesuits will be required to undergo an evaluation to maintain their faculties, Fr. Altman will be fully reinstated and consecrated a bishop and created Cardinal, Fr. Z will be made Prefect for Divine Worship, the Latin Mass will be reinstated as the ORDINARY form of the Mass, communion in the hand and versus populum will be made anathema, bishops will be required to seek papal permission to shut down their dioceses for more than a single Sunday, all priests will be required to memorize the 10 Commandments (in ORDER, there will be a quiz), marriage annulments will be required to endure a 2-year cooling off period before approval,
. . . and I’m just getting started.

Long live, Pope Pius XIII

Ditch the State!
Embolden the Papacy!
Love Holy Church!

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