Your Excellency, Bishop Zarama, I was wondering if you could provide an update to your investigation on implementing the Vatican’s declaration, Fiducia Supplicans.
After its issuance, your office released this statement, claiming you needed time to “consider how it will be promulgated and pastorally integrated amongst the faithful of Eastern North Carolina.” That appears to have been well over two months ago. Therefore, I wanted to see if you had made any progress with your research and meditation on what has become colloquially known as “fag blessings.”
As many of us know, promulgating is inherently serious work, and, for it to be fruitful, requires prayerful reflection and intense mental prayer. Only our holy prelates, all of whom walk the lofty heights of the Unitive State, possess the grace to handle such a rigorous task. This is most true regarding the Vatican’s recent declaration on blessing men and women who are addicted to illicit experiences with one another.
Therefore, many of us Raleigh Catholics would like to learn your position on this important and seminal document.
Quick Background on Finocchio Supplico
Since I know you’re already familiar with the intricacies of the declaration, I won’t bore you by re-hashing the details. However, through two months of experience, post-Fiducia, we’ve gathered some field data, which may aid in your episcopal discernment.
Did you know that other Catholic jurisdictions have already extended fag blessings to include funerals and gay weddings? I’d like your thoughts on these two recent developments.
“Mother of All Whores” Funeral at St. Patrick’s Cathedral
I hate to post bizarre photos, like the above, but as they say in space, “Houston we have a problem.”
This time, it’s a tranny problem, sponsored by Catholic clergy in one of America’s largest cathedrals. The priests there, in the Spirit of Fiducia Supplicans, offered a public funeral, something that predictably degenerated into banshee screeching among every pervert present. We might at least hope, Bishop Zarama, that this activity wouldn’t make it to the diocesan cathedral in Raleigh, following the approval of sodomite blessings.
Next example . . .
First Gay Catholic Wedding in Uruguay?
It looks like Uruguay clergy have gone even further with permission from the Vatican. Bishop Milton Tróccoli, of the Diocese of Maldonado-Punta del Este-Minas (Uruguay), received the green light from the apostolic nuncio to apply a blessing on a gay civil wedding. You should read the article for details, but this appears to be the furthest application of the Vatican’s December declaration.
Do you believe this crosses any lines, Your Excellency? Would you permit your priests to bless a civil union between notorious sodomites in Raleigh, Cary, Wilmington, or Greenville?
Many Priests Eagerly Await Your Decision . . .
Also, besides these prominent examples, we might glance around our neck of the woods to estimate whether some of the clergy appear ready to offer these blessings.
Where am I going with all this?
It is my firm desire that these examples of “Fiduciaries Gone Wild” would persuade you not to implement Rome’s December declaration. Other than that, I had a couple of other things I wanted to ask while I have your episcopal attention.
Tucho Fernandez . . . Are you Brothers?
I know this is a bit out of “left field” perhaps, but I noticed a striking resemblance between you and the DDF Chief, Victor Manuel (Tucho) Fernandez.
Are you related somehow?
Bonus Question (Related to Canon Law!)
While we’re here, I wanted to run something else by you. There’s yet another “declaration” that might merit your attention.
I understand you have a background in Catholic Canon Law, albeit with an emphasis on adjudicating marriage annulments. In your capacity as a canon lawyer, have you had the opportunity to review Dr. Edmund Mazza’s case for the canonical invalidity of Pope Benedict XVI’s papal resignation?
If not, then you’re in for a delightful treat because he demonstrates how the pope’s resignation letter (and intentions) suffered from substantial errors, rendering the resignation void, per Canon 188. Now, that’s what I call “muy interesante.”
Below is a succinct video presentation from Dr. Mazza, explaining this in greater detail. Don’t forget that if Pope Benedict’s resignation was invalid, then there could never have been a subsequent conclave to bring about the phenomenon of “Pope Francis.”
I hope you’ll enjoy that video if this is your first exposure to Dr. Mazza’s compelling case.
Just imagine it like this. If we can prove the illegitimacy of the “Francis” pontificate, which seems simple enough, then we’ll never again have to worry about Fiduciary Sodomy. The same goes for Amoris Laetitia, Laudato Si, Traditiones Custodes, or any of those other disaster documents.
I can’t think of a greater win-win scenario for all authentic Catholics, far and wide. I’m excited, and I know you are.
Holler If You Need Anything From Me
Finally, I just wanted to let you know you can depend on me for anything related to advancing a truly robust Catholicism anywhere in the Diocese of Raleigh. We may have had our differences in the past, seeing how I called your diocese a Habitation for Dragons last year. However, that should never inhibit our mutual commitment to spreading traditional Catholicism across the land.
Ways I Can Help . . .
I can, for example, assist with identifying the most profitable alternatives to Fettucini Sedatives (or whatever that blasted thing is called). Here are a couple of professional suggestions based on my comprehension of Church history . . .
Pope St. Pius V’s Approach – Transfer all the diocese’s sodomite priests over to the secular authorities for capital punishment. This means you won’t retrieve their services terribly soon, so we’ll need to hire new priests. Thankfully, there are plenty of able-bodied Catholic men who might answer the call to the priesthood in the spiritually fertile Diocese of Raleigh.
- Note: This strategy might be difficult, given the sodomite saturation among secular authorities, especially in places like UNC
FaggotChapel Hill.
Train All Clergy on (and Enforce) The Book of Gomorrah – Maybe executing all the sodomite vampires isn’t a practical solution at this precise moment. Nevertheless, we have stupendous training materials available to us, totally free of charge, from no less than a Doctor of the Universal Church. Indeed, St. Peter Damian offers a plethora of unique ways to mitigate the fag problem by firing them, submitting them to severe beatings, and so forth. Granted, I know the sections where he talks about “quadrupeds” are a little gross, but reading that book offers the necessary bad-tasting medicine for naughty priests, infected with sodomy.
I hope this helps.
So, Your Excellency, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars. Perhaps someday, you too, like Tucho Fernandez, can become a Colonel in the Vatican.
God bless, Happy Quadragesima, and Ave Maria,
-Chris Munier
P.S. Will you grant me an Imprimatur for all the articles on my website?
Catholics Aren't Zombies! 
After Vatican II, the then Prelature of Tágum became the hotbed of the Small Christian Communities and the Charismatic Movement in Filipinas. Tágum became a Diocese in 1980. The first and only Bishop of the Prelature was the late Joseph W. Regan, an Irish Yankee Maryknoller. He tasked by the late Archbishop Clovis Thibault, PME to implement the Small Christian Communities experiment in Davao del Norte and Davao Oriental. Bishop Aseo is worse because he doesn’t condemn Gay Pride, Mohammedan and pagan festivals and he tolerates the increase of Masons and of the LGBTQ community here in Tágum.
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